At the end of 2017 and beginning of 2018, when mine and everyone else’s mind and hearts were buzzing with goals and New Year’s Resolutions, I decided to simplify.
I had heard a few times of trendy blogger or friends of mine choosing not a phrase or goal, but a word. A word to describe their year, a word to refocus their priorities, a word to center their smaller goals around. While resolutions are great and all, let’s be serious…they are hardly kept passed February and long forgotten by April. This seemed more attainable to me. This seemed doable. This seemed like maybe, just maybe, I’d keep “at it” until June, July at best.
So with much doubt that I’d follow through (that’s always the hardest part, am I right?) and the promise of the type of new beginning it feels only January can bring, and the small glimmer of hope I could enforce and continue this word until December, I chose my word;
I made a list of aspects of my life I would carry this into. The big things: my body and mind, my family, my household, my friendships. And the seemingly little things, which I now look back and realize how big they are: my stuff, my thoughts, my time.
Coming out of a season where I felt like things were happening to me, I very much wanted to feel as though things that were happening in my life didn’t have power over me. That’s the best way I know how to explain it. I needed this year. I needed 2018 and this word and everything it stood and stands for. I needed to feel in control, not in a negative way, more of a take-hold-of way…but yes, hi hello, I am a control freak. Regardless, I firmly believe this word fit into this chapter (or year) of my life perfectly. This season of my life was so restorative that I could only describe it as true intentionality.
In January, I wasn’t quite sure what these last twelve months would look like. I didn’t have an exact idea of how my intentional-mindset and goals would play out. I thought and prayed about it. It sounded like a good fit for where I was at. But really, it’s evolved into something even greater. I believe it has set me up for the next season. Coming out of the past one and into this one with such intentions. In only a way I know this current one is re-charging me for the next. Maybe it’s a form of transitional period, but it’s a time of being present. I’ve been intentional with myself, with the care of my body, with my heart and my mind. I’ve practiced ways to reform my thoughts. I’ve taken on coping mechanisms I let go of in the past. I’ve worked towards healthy goals, physically and mentally. Intentionally. I’ve been intentional things around me. We have routines and rhythms I take pride in that make life a whole heck of a lot smoother. Not perfect, but smoother. I’ve gotten rid of things that are taking up time and energy and physical space in my house, and I’ve learned not to be so scared of white space.
So it is with those thoughts and the same intentionality I’ve worked towards these last twelve months, that I’ve reflected on January through December. It is with the mindset of being intentional in which I’ve chosen my word of 2019. To you, it might sound similar to intentional. You may just think I’m going for some kind of double-header, year after year thing with the same intents and purpose. But just like last year, I’m not quite sure how this word will sum up my 2019. How it will shape and mold it, how it will morph into something hard earned, dance into lessons and trials and growth. I’m still working on the outline, the way it will fit into my current season and the way that I’ll dwell in its many meanings. This time, my word is
H E R E