A little honest writing for you today… As a working mom, I don’t get much time with my son other than evenings and weekends. Those go by quickly and there doesn’t ever seem to be much “down time”. Because I am a teacher, I am now super blessed to be home with my son for a couple of months and enjoy some of this down time I thought I would be getting… just like I had last summer when he was a teeny little squish.
Boy, was I wrong.
When my husband walks through the door at the end of the work day, I find myself wondering What did I even do all day? I list it all out in my head. Breakfast, play, naptime, nursing, lunch, play, nap number two, and so on. I recently found myself kind of scolding myself because I hadn’t gotten more done. I hadn’t put away laundry or mopped the living room like I thought I would be getting done. But you know what? This stay at home mom business is tough!
Motherhood and child raising is a weird string of different seasons and stages. This stage is the “something changes everyday” stage. I feel like that seems like an exaggeration, but it really isn’t. Every day my son does something new that he hadn’t done the day before. He’s picking up on things quicker than I can teach him. He’s picking up on things I didn’t even teach him! His personality is blooming and his independence is shining through. That’s where I get stuck– independence.
My son’s “learn everything” stage is wonderful and exhausting at the same time. I thought I would be able to do things while he played or maybe while he napped. As it turns out, play time requires constant supervision because he is in to everything and naptime is just me recharging for when he wakes up! Again I scold myself, “If you were a better wife/mom, then you could get all of this done anyways.” I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets caught in this trap. I thought I was imagining how much work this little baby was requiring, that I was just allowing myself to be lazy. Other moms do tons of stuff, why can’t I manage to? (See my other posts about comparison, right?)
Today my husband affirmed my feelings. When I was kind of apologizing for not getting to something in the house, he said, “You can’t get anything done when W is awake. I’ve learned this recently while he’s with me in the morning. If you look away for a second he’s into something new!” Man, this was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like I wasn’t living up to my husband’s expectations of how the house should be or what I should be doing all day, when in fact he knew exactly the struggle I was dealing with at home!
In my brief two weeks at home so far with a little guy who doesn’t stop going (seriously, energizer bunny!), I’ve learned that this gig is no joke.
Moral of the story: You don’t have to get everything done every day. Cut yourself some slack, mama. The floor will still need to be mopped tomorrow and that’s ok.